|pony love XOXO|
The long, exhausting, tear and self-doubt-filled road I have been on in an attempt to regain some semblance of confidence is happening guys!
Savvy is not an easy horse. Starting with an unbroke horse and attempting to train them for riding all on your own while you are dealing with fear is HIGHLY NOT RECOMMENDED.
Yet here I am, doing it. I am not only surviving the scary stuff, but we are doing well. Savvy is a super star in lessons and even when she looses her marbles, she comes right back and tries so hard to work for me.
No matter if she is calm and moving in that beautiful swinging walk, or she is tossing her head and saying "Hell no, I am not bending left today!", or tattling on my outside rein disconnect, I am just a smiling fool these days.
I am really starting to 'know' her under saddle. It has taken a while, but having that knowledge is feeding my confidence.
This doesn't mean fear is gone. I still deal with minor worry of staying on if she spooks, et cetera, but the great thing is, it is in perspective now. No longer paralysing, or blown out of proportion.
Now I can focus on good stuff like actually getting better at dressage instead of survival.