I realise I am only five rides in from a month away from jumping, and it will most likely return with work and time. But damn, I was looking at 2'3" like it was no big deal. Now cross rails (could it even be 12"?!) get my stomach flipping.
I can blame a lot of things: time off, cooler weather, Savvy doing her best leaping llama after the jumps and spooking again after a summer mostly spook free. Working with a pony with too many opinions who is not specifically talented in the direction I am taking her.
|This pic makes me laugh, but I remember that day I felt like Savvy and I could have jumped anything in front of us.|
Part of me thinks maybe I can just stay in starter level for ever and have fun over little jumps. Honestly though, I cannot wait for the day that starter jumps become boring but first they have to stop looking huge. I know this would be easier if Savvy were more athletically inclined in the jumping department (not to mention less dramatic and possibly taller if I were to be honest about all my niggling worries). Working twice as hard for the most basic of levels is humbling and slightly humiliating. But we are all struggling in different ways.
I do feel proud of how much I have accomplished with Savvy this summer, even if it really does not look like much from the outside. I am also encouraged by how much Savvy seems to enjoy being out on the cross country field when I am riding well and she is not overfaced.
So, for now I will continue training for our September event (even if it takes a few shots of Jack Daniel's pre-ride for the next little while) and keep pushing myself back to our July level of jumps, one inch at a time if need be.