Thursday, 14 September 2017

Shadow Days

When you start waking up already anxious before you even have time to make the morning coffee, let alone contemplate all the trials and tribulations in your life, you know there is a problem.
 

Thank you to those who gave advice and/or support. After my vacation and approximately one month off for Savvy, I suddenly found myself terrified.

Of what, I wasn't quite sure.

True, Savvy had gone a bit feral and had really slipped back in her jumping form and confidence, but really that was not worthy of causing this level of anxiety. She may be a complicated ride, but not a dangerous one at all.

It took a step back for a bit and sorted through what the heck was going on.  All the things that I have been dealing with (mostly involving my mother who has dementia) had kind of snowballed lately. I needed to put things in better perspective and let go of worrying about all the little things that did not need immediate attention. I forgave myself for not being able to do it all and do it best (best of who, I couldn't tell you).

Carrots are a girl's best friend.

And with the wonder pony, I grabbed up great advice to break things down and build back up slowly. I am happy to report Savvy is doing great and every ride is getting easier for me. We are still only at about 2 feet but there is real progress happening and we are almost back where we left off in July.

Grid work has been useful for helping Savvy remember what to with her legs (seriously horse, it was only a month!) and helping me focus on body position, counting strides and NOT grabbing mane (I seem to have developed a bad habit of grabbing those flowing locks of Savvy's like its my security blanket).

We have graduated to a nice little course of seven jumps that I have set up in a way that I can change up the order and work on different approaches.

Nine more sleeps until the Manitoba Equestrian Championships! I am really starting to look forward to it and I think Savvy and I are going to do just fine.




10 comments:

  1. This is awesome! Not that you were feeling anxious, but that you found a constructive way to work through things with Savvy. Good luck at your competition. Though you do realize that on the important things, you have already won, right?

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    1. Thank you so much! And thank you for great advice.

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  2. I get the anxiety thing! It's easy to ride when you are not worried. That you got in the saddle even through you were worried is heroic. Well done.

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    1. Anxiety is definitely a beast all of its own. I am pretty sure is Savvy could roll her eyes at me she would have while she waited for me to get my shit together, lol!

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  3. glad to hear things are settling back into place! anxiety and nerves are basically a constant cyclical struggle for me. waxing and waning, forever and ever and ever. luckily positive experiences can have a positive snowballing effect. it's not always as fast as i might wish, but that's ok. slow and steady repetition makes a world of difference, esp after you've already put such a wonderful foundation on the horse! hope you guys have a blast!

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    1. Thanks! All the work I have put into Savvy has been so worth it. Even when technique may slip with time off, the relationship and trust she has in me is still there. She's just such a special horse - gahhhhhiamsuchasappyhorselovinfool lol!

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  4. First, thank you for stopping by and commenting on blog. Your reply gave me a new way to look at a very difficult situation.

    As for anxiety, I know it very well. To give you an example of its part in my life, I got Breathe tattooed on my inner wrist. It has helped a lot! I think the biggest help for me when dealing with this beast is to not try and figure out why. Sometimes I know and it's easy. But when I don't know and sit and tro figure it out, it gets worse. When I could be practicing Mindfulness or simply focus on my breath I get sucked into a vortex and then the anxiety gets worse. I hope this helps a little.

    Sorry to hear about your mom. I work in Community Health and many of the people I care for have dementia. It is a disease that affects the whole family.

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    1. Thank you! Yes, it is definitely more useful to just breathe and be in the moment. I think that is part of the draw to horses for me--when riding you really have to be in the moment, breathe and leave the baggage out of the saddle. When I can do that, the feeling after a good ride is priceless.

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  5. Oh girl, I know exactly how you feel. I have those same days, times, and seasons. Sorry to hear about your mother. Your girl was just reflecting what you were feeling and showed you what you needed to do to get out of the shadow.

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  6. Great song. I have some others for you.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWVCYhKjTKI

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwHJe4M90u4

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdS8lbxtmSI

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgpA1UCUQ-w

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygu-G13XeXA

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygu-G13XeXA

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkKmJrcH4WE

    I went a little over board sorry!

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