My game plan for the past few years has been to set myself up for success which involved breaking steps down into smaller peices to not overface me or my horse. It worked. It was a lovely little bubble. Within the bubble a little bit of work could get done safely and my confidence began to return, bit by bit.
This upcoming year though I want to expand my bubble. This is not going to be easy. I know how to keep status quo very well and I am really going to have to push myself to take that extra step. Really that is all I want from myself at this point--just one extra step beyond my comfortable little bubble and hopefully build on that.
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| A major success -- although admittedly felt more like a giant leap rather than a little step! |
Just about three months in and there have been some successful attempts at this and also some fails. My last lesson highlighted where I am at right now. I do have confidence but it is not infinite and old memories from past horses are still affecting me (aka Miss Tea and her crazy reactions when things went wrong). I immediately knew where my anxiety was coming from when I suddenly could not push Savvy through that grid. I was afraid of what has happened to me in the past when pushing an unsure horse, NOT what I really believed Savvy might do.
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I am okay with this. Knowing where my fears are coming from is very helpful. I was gutted at first but that feeling like it is not fixable is coming from a different place, a different horse. This is Savvy and we can work through things. Even though she is anoyingly oppinionated and occasionally tells me off, she does trust me and I can honestly say I know I can handle her opinions.
Status quo has been affecting her too. She has been enjoying that bubble I made for us and will have reactions to me expanding our comfort zone. Which means she will question my authority, and wonder if I have lost my marbles but we will adjust to this increase of expectations.
Good points about your past impacting your present and setting up some things that are a bit more of a reach. I would just say that you can't always expect Savvy to be perfect when doing new, fairly hard things. A lot of horses take a while to settle doing grids. The progression is single poles, pole course, single(tiny!) jumps, small trot a course, pole grid starting with one pole, place pole to single jump, and eventually adding in more poles and small jumps in the grid. This can all take months to get really smooth. From what you have posted, Savvy is more uncertain than anything, and a few more positive and easy (small/uncomplicated!)experiences will boost both your confidences. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteYa, I know what I would personally do if I had access to jumps on my own. Unfortunately I cannot ride at home because of ice and snow and arenas around here do not let you jump on your own. This is why I have a coach right now. Another thing I have been trying hard to do is be a better student. I tend to have too many of my own opinions to be a good student, so I have been practising keeping my mouth shut and doing what I am told. Not easy for me!:)
DeleteAlso I think Savvy handled the grid as anyone would expect for her first go at it. It was my own panic attack I was not expecting and disappointed with.
DeleteOh, I wasn't saying you were overfacing her, just that it is a fair amount to take in and it might take a few lessons to smooth out. In a lot of her single jump pictures she has nice form and it will just be a matter of her figuring out the various biomechanics. On the panic attack maybe try some visualizations so you have a plan and have practiced it for when things get a little hunky? Just my thoughts, S seems like a sweet horse and will figure out the jumping thing with some more hops under her belt.
DeleteOh I totally understand! (Although really I was overfaced mentally big time, hahah!) You have some great advice with the grid progression. I just wish I had the means to do it at my own pace at home. :)
Deletei love your philosophy about expanding the bubble - reminds me of Denny Emerson's book "How Good Riders Get Good" and his chapter on "building a bigger flea jar." it's hard tho. i'm maybe similar to you in that i can get very comfortable in my safe little bubble and reluctant to push out of it. but great things can happen at the edge of our comfort zones so... we push. Savvy is such a cool horse tho, she really appears to be meeting you every step of the way! can't wait to see how it unfolds through the year!
ReplyDeleteThanks! Ya, she really is a cool horse. Even though it isn't going to be easy, I do feel like I can accomplish my goals with Savvy.
DeleteSuch an insightful post! Don't be hard on yourself, anxiety is a funny thing and it's totally normal for the bubble's boundaries to move out (or in!) day by day, week by week regardless of your plans. Ask me how I know ;) I thought it sounded like you both did really well in your lesson...it takes a lot mentally and physically to learn new things!
ReplyDeleteThat's the truth! But I am looking forward to working on it and expanding the bubble ever outward!
DeleteI always have to remember to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Sure, we have ups and downs but are we trending up? The answer is usually always yes. But alas, it's easier said than done! ;)
ReplyDeleteAs long as we keep chipping away at it, we can't help but get better, right? haha.
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