Many things are just getting to me and the overall feeling I am dragging around, chained to my foot is saddness and disappointment even though I should be grateful for all the good things. Sigh.
First of all, rain. It hasn't stopped in over a month. Everything is always wet. My arena is a mess. The paddocks are slop. I am sick of curly hair.
Second, trailer. My trailer is shit and I have spent a few years denying this, but really, it is shit. Nothing dangerous, but an ever so slightly bent axil has resulted in many flat tires because they wear unevenly. I am too broke to buy more tires, not to mention a new trailer. I am feeling just done with it and dream of pushing it off a cliff or something.
|Or this. I would love to do this to my trailer.|
Finally, dressage shows. They are expensive. I haven't done a single show this year. My first event is July 23 and 24, and even though it is more of a clinic (ride a test like it is a show then be evaluated by the judge and mini lesson) I am calling it a show in my head. There are many dressage riders that train exclusively and never show. I just cannot comprehend. I love the excitement of show day--everything about it--all the prep and packing, cleaning up my pony, that rush of excitement first entering the ring, and the focus and drive to be my absolute best in this one moment.
So after half a summer of getting it done and looking on the bright side of things, I need to stop and have myself a pitty party. Hopefully it is a short event. The rain can't go on forever (can it?!!), I will get more tires somehow and maybe I will have to open my mind up to hunter show flat classes for my fix in the future--at least those are affordable and there are more of them to choose from.