Monday, 5 March 2018

A new adventure?

So you have this basket. It is a fine basket. It is the grand idea of what you want your life to be. And then you start adding eggs to the basket. Each egg is a piece of your dream, perhaps something you worked hard for and achieved or is simply a hope that has not happened yet but you can see it just there on the horizon. You diligently add to this basket, occasionally taking out an egg that doesn't fit quite right but mostly building an impressive pile.


Then you are told you have to hand this basket to someone else. Share your basket. Allow another to carry it for a while. In turn you carry someone else's basket and take care not to damage their eggs.

And then your basket is dropped. No one's fault. The road was rough, uneven terrain with many challenging hills, stones, potholes. Someone was bound to trip and fall. The eggs are broken.

We have lived on our farm for 12 years. It has been a massive undertaking right from the start. The land was bare and the house was... not great. We built everything ourselves: the hay shed plus four other sheds for tractor, garden supplies, tack and feed. We dug swails to drain water. Built fences, took down fences. Built three horse shelters, dug water lines. Built an above-ground pool, deck and sun room addition. Gutted and remodelled kitchen, bedroom and two bathrooms. We bought old machinery to make our own hay and then struggled with constantly fixing said old machinery. We have moved mountains of hay and mountains of snow. We 'split' our tractor ourselves. It was terrifying--I didn't think we would ever get it to fit back together but we fixed it with the help of Youtube and some tractor expert guy from Newfoundland that helped us over the phone.

All the while my husband has hated it. Baling hay was only really fun for him that first time a bale came out of the baler and then he was pretty much over it. Winters here are brutal, made worse by our exposed location. Snow just blows in and leaves us buried. Every piece of machinery breaks, all the time.

So it is time. Time for filling a new basket.

It is shocking, heartbreaking, yet I am excited to see what will come of it. I am humbled that my partner put in so many years of hard labour into my dreams and look forward to now returning the favour.

13 comments:

  1. it's good to hear an update from you! sounds like a lot is going on tho, and lots of changes. owning and operating my own farm has always felt... so so daunting. it's a labor of love for sure, and i can totally understand the perspective of someone who doesn't necessarily love the horses not really appreciating the lifestyle that comes with them. hopefully this new basket proves equally fulfilling and rewarding to you as you fill it up!

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    1. Reflecting on my last post about canter issues, it all seems like small beans compared to what has followed. I look forward to doing an actual riding post at some point soon!

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  2. So many changes. My husband and i did it in reverse. When the kids were young we lived in suburbia. I hated it so when our youngest left for school we sold it and bought our farm. So far so good but we don't grow/bale our own hay and that makes a difference. I treasure our time here because at some point we won't be able to stay.

    Good for you for making the decision to change. Keep us posted on what is ahead.

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    1. I think if we had not gone the farming route, I would have always wondered what if and been deeply dissatisfied. Now I can kick my feet up and have the peace of mind of having lived the dream and happy to be done with hard parts of it all. :)

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    2. I hope I didn't sound judgemental because I really was not! I think you were wise to recognize that it's not the lifestyle you want.

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    3. I didn't think you were being judgemental :) as a side note, I don't want to go (although I would love a farm with much more shelter from wind and snow), but fair is fair. Hubby's dreams count too.

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  3. Sounds like a tough but wise decision less stress for you both will be a good thing <3 I am trying to go the opposite direction (condo -> country) but I'm not sure how my husband will enjoy the acreage lifestyle yet.

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    1. Hard work can be so deeply satisfying - at least it was for me. For others, not so much. That being said, we really picked a doozy of a place that handed us more challenges than even I could handle sometimes. Word of advice: If you can find a farm with important items in place already like water to the horses, buildings, etc. you will not regret it! Second, be sure hubby loves the property choice as much as you do. Too much compromise in either direction I have learned is usually asking for trouble down the road.

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  4. Here's hoping the change in lifestyle brings you both even more happiness than you hope for :)

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  5. Sometimes plan "B" or "C" can turn into a beautiful thing. If you had never tried the large farm you would have probably always regretted it, but deciding it does not work for your family as a whole after a long try is smart. I'm sure great things are ahead and you will find ways to keep horses and riding in your life. Good luck!

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  6. So bittersweet! I wish you all the best in your new ventures.

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  7. Fingers crossed for your next adventure!

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